Truth Is Tuesday 11/4/14

Truth Is...Tuesday

Truth is….. My mouth said I was ok but my heart was aching so bad that I really couldn’t enjoy my pregnancy. Around the 3^rd month, I received a call from the doctor stating that I would need to come in for more test. Oh Lord! Here we go… The previous test that was taken showed a sign of Down Syndrome. My emotions began to run high and the tears came as though I had turned on a faucet. In my heart I knew I wasn’t prepared to care for a child with special needs, and, thinking about “him”, he wasn’t either. If you are not a believer in prayer then allow me to be a witness…My granny prayed over the situation and insured me that everything would be ok. Lo and behold! As I walked into the doctor’s office they immediately apologized for giving me the test prematurely and for the inaccurate results. A burden was lifted from all of the stress that I was already dealing with and I actually had a glimpse of hope for our relationship.

Well, faster than the road runner runs across the road with a “beep beep”; that’s how fast the rekindle of this relationship had ended. We were “cut” from two different cloths, he is more “street smart” and I love “pinterest” LOL! So every idea that I thought would be cool to do, I received negative feedback and he was totally against it. I wanted maternity pictures…“Lame” was his response. Every name I came up with, he thought was “Girly”. I wanted to find a wonderful private daycare/school and give him the best education…. “he can go to my granny’s house”. So as you can see we were arguing almost every day over everything. My best friend observed our disagreements and how we weren’t seeing “eye to eye” and the advice that she gave was “Sue he is not ready! Y’all are two different people from two different worlds and that’s not healthy for the baby”. Huh? What? Who was she to tell me about my man? Yes he got on my nerves, but he was ‘my man’. So what do I do? “Heisman stance” with the stiff arm to dismiss her and her opinions. “Opposites Attract” and boy we were definitely opposite (and not in a good way).

So my plate was full - a pregnancy, my withering relationship, a dismissed friendship and to top it off, my favorite aunt was battling cancer. (Now remember, I am really trying to make this work.) Until… a phone call comes in “Yeah, ummm I was talking to my sister and best friend and they told me I’m not ready for a serious relationship”. What? Wait? Huh? I cried and wanted to know why… What did I do? Was I not pretty enough? Was the baby weight turning him off? Who are they to talk on our relationship? Oh, I was mad and ready to give them a piece of my mind. I became “A Mad Black Pregnant Woman” and I was ready to flip out and hurt people, because I was hurt. My support system tried to cheer me up but their attempts “failed”. I wanted to be miserable so I stayed in that moment. I even tried to date again but my heart was still wrapped up in him. My heart was broken but I was determined to get my man back so we would be a family. HA!…How do you think that turned out?