Truth is Tuesday
Every Tuesday I will begin to post "tidbits" of my story and I encourage all of the other mommies to do so as well. I will share all of my emotions and experiences of how God's love and the love of my son kept me sane. In telling my story I will be transparent so the reaction should not be "judgmental BUT the Action should be to uplift in Love!
So here it goes:
Truth is I was head over heels in love with him and hung on to his every word. He could tell me that the moon was turquois and I would believe him. This pregnancy was planned! (Yep, I said it! PLANNED) I remember the night he told me that he wanted me to conceive a child with him, now my age plus some insecurities played a major part in the "OK" answer that I spoke to him. BUT never did I think "Hey silly! he should be asking you to marry him first". A month later I found myself throwing up and missing my scheduled cycle. In my mind I knew the diagnosis but it took the hospital a while to detect the pregnancy. One day I began to have some abnormal symptoms happen to my body and we proceeded to get things checked out. As we arrived to the hospital an "ill feeling" began to overtake my body, and that's when I was told that I had a miscarriage! He was so angry, he stormed out the hospital because of the devastating news we received. I was left there with so many mixed emotions running through my mind...On one side I felt bad because I could not give him the child he desired at that moment but, on other side I felt a sense of relief because our relationship had begin to go through some "valleys" and it was not a good environment for a baby to be born into. As time went on I scheduled a follow up appointment with the doctor, AND on that day BOY!!! did I received some shocking and surprising news "Ms. Patterson you are still pregnant" I had been carrying twins but during the miscarriage only lost one. With all of the changes and negative energy the relationship between "the dad" and I was over and my the emotion of "being scared and raising this baby alone" was up front. Well I had to stop and think "Why am I putting my trust in man and not God?" So I begin to look to the hills for my help, draw on my own strength and utilize my support systems that was in place(family). And I did it and Still DOING IT TODAY!
So here it goes:
Truth is I was head over heels in love with him and hung on to his every word. He could tell me that the moon was turquois and I would believe him. This pregnancy was planned! (Yep, I said it! PLANNED) I remember the night he told me that he wanted me to conceive a child with him, now my age plus some insecurities played a major part in the "OK" answer that I spoke to him. BUT never did I think "Hey silly! he should be asking you to marry him first". A month later I found myself throwing up and missing my scheduled cycle. In my mind I knew the diagnosis but it took the hospital a while to detect the pregnancy. One day I began to have some abnormal symptoms happen to my body and we proceeded to get things checked out. As we arrived to the hospital an "ill feeling" began to overtake my body, and that's when I was told that I had a miscarriage! He was so angry, he stormed out the hospital because of the devastating news we received. I was left there with so many mixed emotions running through my mind...On one side I felt bad because I could not give him the child he desired at that moment but, on other side I felt a sense of relief because our relationship had begin to go through some "valleys" and it was not a good environment for a baby to be born into. As time went on I scheduled a follow up appointment with the doctor, AND on that day BOY!!! did I received some shocking and surprising news "Ms. Patterson you are still pregnant" I had been carrying twins but during the miscarriage only lost one. With all of the changes and negative energy the relationship between "the dad" and I was over and my the emotion of "being scared and raising this baby alone" was up front. Well I had to stop and think "Why am I putting my trust in man and not God?" So I begin to look to the hills for my help, draw on my own strength and utilize my support systems that was in place(family). And I did it and Still DOING IT TODAY!
God is great! I love your story and how you are over coming life. You are a great mother one of the best i know. Your testimony is real.
ReplyDeleteThank you so so much!!!!
DeleteYOU ARE AMAZING! Thank you for your honesty. Absolutely no judgement here. I'm sure we've all made irrational decisions when we were young and "in love" lol. But, thank God for growth and maturity. YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION!
ReplyDeleteThank you so so much
DeleteWow what amazing woman you are!!!! I love the fact that you are sharing your truth with us, you never know who's or how many lives you touch. Thank you for being who you are.......unforgettable
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!
DeleteI'm looking forward to what is to come. So that moms can share and get advice without judgment but honesty
ReplyDeleteOne of the hardest things to do is being open about our personal lives. I commend you for allowing God to lead you to share your story with this blog. This will help so many people!!
ReplyDeleteWow, what a test that has become a testimony! May God's grace continue to sustain you! For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6
ReplyDelete